23 yrs "old"

Its so hard to believe! 23yrs- sounds like too long a time, but seems so little to me. I really can't believe I'm done with 2 important phases in my life- childhood and youth. Hmm, that reminds me, I have to do a lot of reading.

At this age I am porobably expected to act and think more maturely, which I do most often. But sometimes I also think like a child- silly and innocent. Some situations still seem so traumatic. I often wonder how I would be as a wife, a mother, a grandmother... Now that I have few school friends and colleges pals getting married, I think of the new roles more often. I find it near impossible to be good at all that. I wonder whether everybody feels the same about it, or is it just me? Like every girl I dream of a prince charming, battling his way to reach me. I believe one day I will find my soulmate. Through school and college I have wondered why theres a delay with me, for my prince to turn up. And hence I lose myself in the wonderland.
But of course, as I had previously mentioned, mine is a wackoland. Soon afterwards, I would be reminded of certain broken marriages that I have known of or heard of. And then I get scared thinking of what could be in store for me. I'm sure God has a plan; Que Sera Sera (Whatever will be, will be).

But I still have time to get into serious thinking and wouldn't you call it stupidity to waste time fearing things that may or may not happen. But thats how my mind is here and there. I miss having my friends and family around. When they are there, I dont enjoy enough and when they are not, I miss them. i am crazy, aint I? hehe

I see a possibility of a movie- maybe Prince of Persia and food from outside. I guess that is how my birthday is gona be. I wanted to avoid it only coz of temptation (i have these temptations, to do nothing and then brood over it, sounds crazy, but I don't want to get into personal stuff as yet). I have to admit, being lazy and just responding to bday wishes online can let the devil creep in. I really miss those days when you looked forward to your birthday; right now it feels like just another day, unless you choose to treat yourself. I really wanted to do that, but I decided to sit back. I guess am growing old, sounds cheesy hehe. But theres a freedom there, and with a job- money to do whatever you want, if you want that is.

Looks like my blogs getting messy. I better sign out, before you'd decide to give up on me :).